Bullying Sucks

Bullying sucks, which I know from personal experience.  I was bullied for five years, until we moved to a new school system in another state. One of the "highlights" of my experience was being pinned against the wall of the school by four girls while a fifth one, the ringleader, beat me up.  We were in fourth grade.

Fast forward a few decades, and I have a five-year-old who loves school and who loves riding the bus to school.  Or at least, she did until about two weeks ago.  Today, we finally found out why she doesn't want to ride the bus anymore.   Two boys who sit up front are mean to her; they call her "stupid."  The seats on our buses are separated by grade level, so these two boys in front are either in preschool or kindergarten.  We watched as she got on the bus today, and two boys stood up as soon as they saw her and started saying something - I couldn't hear what, but I did tell the bus driver what my daughter said was happening.  He said he'd take care of it.  Our bus driver is a very nice, caring person, and I'm sure he'll do his best.  Kids, however, when they want to be mean, are very good at not being caught.

My daughter is not "stupid" - whatever that even means to these two boys.  She is, however, introverted, quiet and sensitive.  In other words, just the kind of kid who can be a bully magnet.  A lot of people, possibly most, would say that they're just little boys doing what little boys do - kids in general, really, not just the boys.  How many times have we all heard people say how mean kids can be?  Are these two boys bullies?  I don't know. I do know, however, that the path is pretty short from having two kindergarten kids calling one child names to having those two kids be part of the gang that's holding a fourth grader against a wall.

We're going to be working with LG on how to handle kids calling her names.  For those of you whose kids are happy extroverts who are willing to say what they think, teach them how to handle bullies too - even if they're not the ones being bullied.  Teach them how to not take part and how to support kids who are being targeted.  Lots of research on bullying shows that even one child refusing to participate or telling a bully to stop helps the target immensely.  And if your child is the bully, or the one who calls other kids names and might become a bully in the future - listen.  Please.  If anyone has ever told you about your child exhibiting this sort of behavior, listen.  Too many parents brush it off as "kids will be kids" or "my child would never do that."  Guess what - somebody's kid is doing it, and it very well just might be yours.  And it's not OK, and it's not trivial, and it's not just something kids have to be expected to do.  It's wrong, and it needs to stop.